Please Note: My Favorite Things of 2025
As seen in ShopMy's Favorite Things 2025 magazine
“Perfectly Considered”
“No one understands the art of gifting quite like Cassandra Grey. As the founder of Violet Grey, she’s built her world around the pleasure of discernment-championing only what’s truly worth coveting. Her approach to giving mirrors her approach to beauty: luxury isn’t about abundance, but intention and the story behind every object.”
…and I quote… from ShopMy’s Favorite Things 2025 magazine, out now
The interview:
ShopMy: How do you usually approach gifting and tackling your holiday gifting list?
Cassandra Grey: With precision and restraint, I choose one signature gift for the season, then make it personal. This year it’s a Madame Grey Zodiac Candle, part portrait, part prediction.
Each scent is composed to mirror the archetype: Aries, fire and saffron; Pisces, salt and smoke; Virgo, linen and ink. The object stays consistent; the intention is bespoke.
One ritual, many recipients, each feeling seen. It keeps the process elegant and efficient: the wrapping is uniform, the handwriting uniquely yours, the timing exact.
SM: When you’re choosing gifts for people close to you, where do you start?
CG: The Instagram version of me has an up-to-date contact list, a gift-wrapping room, and several shelves lined with signature gifts for every occasion—from christening to b’nai mitzvah, quinceañera to graduation, wedding to baby, anniversaries too.
The real me arrives empty-handed and sends something several weeks after.
For me, it isn’t the thought that counts; it’s the original thought that counts. If I can’t find something right, or too much time has passed, I let the moment go—and then I send gifts for no reason, convincing myself they won’t notice I missed the birthday if a Lady M cake or a Paris flea-market find shows up on their doorstep on an ordinary Tuesday.
SM: Are there certain kinds of things that always make great gifts—your go-tos that never miss?
CG: Stylish objects that live well in any home: a bougie candle, an S.T. Dupont table lighter, something exceptional to drink (say, a 2009 Dom Pérignon Rosé) or a first-edition bottle of Madame Grey parfum, handcrafted in France. Things that feel intentional, not impulsive. When in doubt, send two dozen of whatever’s in season, wrapped in brown paper and delivered by hand.
SM: What’s a gift you’ve given or received that’s really stayed with you, and why?
CG: That’s easy. The Tom Cruise Cake.
Tom Cruise sends the coconut cake from Doan’s Bakery. I’m pretty sure if Tom Cruise sent me literally anything, I’d remember it. He is stylish in his signature gift giving and also, he is Tom Cruise.
Brad and I were once at his house; I admired a lamp, and the next day it was hand-delivered to our doorstep. Like, the same lamp that matched another one that flanked a sofa in his living room.
SM: Are there any “rules” or bits of etiquette you personally follow when it comes to gifting? Things you think make the experience feel considered and gracious on both sides?
CG: There are no rules, just standards. And for me, the note is non-negotiable. You can send the most exquisite gift in the world, but if there’s no note, it’s meaningless. And if the note has the wrong name, the entire gift is ruined. You should have never sent it in the first place. A gift should feel as though it came directly from your hands, not from a fulfillment center. I write every note myself. I sit down and I think about the person. It’s not about formality—it’s about intimacy. That’s what makes the exchange feel gracious on both sides. Otherwise, it’s just logistics in tissue paper.
Please Note: I’m taking notes from so many creators—Noora Raj Brown, Gabriella Gofis, Julia Berolzheimer, Tariro Makoni, Coco Schiffer, Jess Graves, and Lindsay Weiss all inspired me with their picks.
My Favorite Things of 2025
Expensive but Worth It
“For Cassandra, the best gifts aren’t about scale or spectacle, they’re about resonance. A diamond that sparkles like a secret, a silver ice bucket that outlasts a lifetime of parties, a candle that burns with the scent of their horoscope.
These gestures remind both giver and receiver that the most meaningful luxuries are the ones chosen with care.
After all, nothing says I love you like a collectible Joe Colombo chair.”
Madame Grey, First Edition of 1,100
The collectible to send to the one that got away—one of just 1,100.Cartier Diamond Garter Clips from FD Gallery
Vintage Cartier diamonds from the 1920s; for the elusive (international) hot girl who wears expensive perfume in her hair and trashy lingerie under her London trench coat. The one who is always gone by the time you wake up in the morning.The Row Curved Leather Clutch
For a woman who drives fast, but prefers to be driven.Raissone Joe Colombo Comfort Lounge Chair, Model Elda, c. 1963
You should see her in a crown.Rimowa Hybrid Check-In L and Cabin Set in Gloss White
White-luggage energy. Add custom name stickers and consider her checked in.Men’s Deerskin Slippers by Charvet
Call him daddy—gift him these impossibly debonair travel slippers.Le Labo Santal 26 Concrete Candle
Best delivered to those who summer in a quaint country house with at least 29 acres of lush farmland.Asprey Stag Ice Bucket in Sterling Silver
Holiday mischief in sterling; for that friend whose life of leisure is evident in the monogrammed cigarette case, coiffed hair, and the twelve in staff.Madame Grey Zodiac Candles
Make it personal. Choose each recipient’s sign; every candle is composed in the scent of its constellation and hand-crafted by the Madame Grey Estate for the House’s second fragrance collection, The Zodiacs.
Cheap and Chic
“Luxury isn’t always about the label. Cassandra’s cheap-and-chic philosophy celebrates the everyday things that make you feel like you’re in on the secret, a bar of Carlyle soap, a Lady M bonbon, a perfectly faded hoodie.
Because style, after all, is about discernment, not decimal points.”
There’s bar soap.
And then there’s
The Carlyle bar soap.
The Carlyle Bar Soap
There’s bar soap. And then there’s The Carlyle bar soap. If the recipient has taste—and your reputation matters—this is the one that impresses.Casa Magazines Hoodie
For the effortless uniform. A salute to a New York icon with built-in credibility—comfortable, classic, quietly cool.Lady M 5-Piece Box Bon Bon Book, “The Upper East Side”
An edible gesture of good taste. Elegant, charming, and just indulgent enough—because the right gift, like good manners, never goes out of style.Men’s Knotted Cotton Cufflinks — Charvet
A smart finish for a classic men’s white shirt, these knotted Charvet cufflinks add a subtle wink to a buttoned up look.We Are Happy to Serve You Coffee Cup
The classic NYC to-go look, made to keep. For real New Yorkers and those in rehearsal.Single Initial Festival Dinner Napkins by Sferra
For the consummate host, these napkins in festive red, crisp white, or cool beige bring instant charm to any table. Each is embroidered with a single initial; chic is always personal. To order, pick up the phone, dial 1-888-774-2424, and tell them Cassandra Grey sent you.Madame Grey Pour Cheveux Strip-Tease
For the girl in the club, the dancers who earn it, and anyone who wants to spray on sex appeal.
Fara Homidi Bronzer in Shade Roma
Sun-kissed, never overdone.Violet Grey MU Bag
Backstage shorthand for beauty insiders.Victoria Beckham Beauty Satin Kajal Liner
Soft, graphic, unfussy.Ghia Spritz Can
A chic mocktail with actual taste.MUTHA Lip Butter
A quiet hero.4AM Skin Clean Sheets
Exactly what the name promises.
While we’re on the topic of favorite things, it felt like quite the coincidence that around the same time I was propositioned by ShopMy, my brilliant and talented friend, and the founder of MUTHA, Hope Smith kindly invited me to co-host her famous Favorite Things dinner this year. And while I had technically reached my quota on events this month, Hope is not the kind of woman you say no to.
Together, we co-hosted a dinner to celebrate a shared philosophy, gifting our favorite things to a room full of people we admire: founders, writers, stylists, Substackers, and friends who build thoughtfully and live deliberately. The evening unfolded in a private room at a downtown members’ club, the lighting perfect, the dessert even better, the kind of setting where conversation lingers and nothing feels rushed. Around the table were voices shaping culture in quiet but meaningful ways: Jess Graves and Tariro Makoni, whose Substacks feel like private conversations you want to keep to yourself; Dianna Cohen of Crown Affair, who understands restraint as a form of confidence; Romilly Newman, whose cooking is as considered as her point of view; and women like Steph Hon, Fara Homidi, Sabrina Sadeghian of 4AM Skin, and Melanie Masarin of Ghia, founders whose products were included not because they need any more exposure, but because they’re genuinely my favorite things.
Jess Graves (being the class act she is) showed up with her favorite thing in tow. She understood the assignment. I showed up with nothing and practically zero knowledge of what was about to unfold, thanks to Rachel and Dess on my team and Hope’s teams at Mutha and CGC, who executed the entire event seamlessly from start to finish.
I felt like a guest at my own event—which I so appreciated, as those of you who know me know that I suffer from severe introversion—surprised and delighted by every detail: the single-stemmed white lilies, the dinner plates personalized with each guest’s name, the gift boxes wrapped exactly right (matte black boxes in descending sizes stacked tall, secured with a shiny black ribbon bow). Chic, chic, chic.
Please Note: I timed my beta blocker perfectly, g-d bless.
Thanks to the wonderful people we get to work with every day, Hope and I were able to simply enjoy a perfect evening surrounded by those who inspire us, allowing our presence to center on letting each and every guest know how much they mean to us.
Please Note: I timed this letter for the procrastinators—those who did not take the sound advice I gave in my previously published Long Lead Gift Guide—because we’re nearing the last few days to place an order for presents to arrive at home for the holidays.
Truly the perfect evening. Thank you for the intro to the 4am sheets—life changing!
Gorgeous xx